so what if i talk with you and share everything there is to share. so what if you know every detail of my journey, what’s got me here and where i have to go. so what if even you show you care. i will, at the end of the day, have my journey to walk and you will have yours. you have time only for yours and cannot walk mine, so how can you possibly understand and how can i possibly explain the day to day drip drip dripping, the slow constant gnawing, the steady soft boiling of doubt, emotion, pressure that seem like little nothings when viewed separately from all the zillions of other little nothings that occur simultaneously. so what if you understand what one grain of sand, on the sheet of sandpaper that is daily my life, looks like. even if i can remove that grain, so what. so what. in the end, i will still need the mask. the mask that reflects what you might think of or want to see in me. because sometimes it’s just easier to wear the mask than to try and explain. sometimes it’s just the way it has to be.