Tearing sinews of the heart while trying to stand on so many different points. so much investment of time, of effort, of grace and growing, of understanding. giving and taking. leaning on and being strong for. history. and then the crevasse and the parting and the pressure and the loss and grief and the anger and the sorrow and the doubt. the lingering doubt. all the whys and the what ifs and the continuing drip drip dripping of loss as the ticking of a clock marks the distance of time lengthening. too many words to say what only silence knows and still the words try to convey the sound of the tearing sinews of the heart while trying to stand on so many points.